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If
most auto accidents occur within one mile of the departure or destination site,
then most car rental auto accidents must occur within a few hundred feet of
the car rental parking lot.
We've all done it -- hopped into the rental vehicle, started it up, headed out
into the streets, then, in the midst of airport traffic with busses bearing
down on you, taxis nearly swiping you, and trying to read utterly illogical
signage, you start groping for knobs, posts, and buttons for directional signals,
headlights, windshield wipers, window controls, defroster/heat/AC controls,
the radio seek button.
As you get your bearings, you find yourself making every error of every bad
driver you've ever hated. To help you find your way into the big bad world in
your next gutless rental car, we present our guide to The First 10 Minutes (and 15 Seconds) of Your Car Rental.
00:00:01
Check for scratches, dings, tears. If the car rental agent is circling your
car with a pad making notes of scratches and blemishes, make sure you do the
same. I've rarely failed to find a scratch or two that the agent missed, and
if they're going to hold you to this process, you should do the same in return.
00:01:01
Start the car. Although it wastes gas and pollutes, you might find that allowing
the car to warm up is a good call. It also affords you the opportunity to make
sure the car is running fairly well, with no strange noises. Everyone takes
a good look for scratches and dings so they won't be charged upon return, but
rarely check how the car is running.
00:01:15
Find and turn on heat/AC. This will allow the interior heat up or cool down
depending on the season while you get your bearings. A dark blue Neon is going
to be blistering hot in the summer; turn on the AC and let the car cool down
while you continue your orientation program.
This way, when you're consulting your map, fixing your mirrors, adjusting the
radio, fishing for window controls, hitting the wrong directionals, trying to
find the windshield wiper lever, driving at night without lights, driving with
your high beams on, opening the trunk instead of the fuel latch when buying
gas, and driving with the emergency brake on, at least you’ll be comfortable.
00:01:45
Consult your map. Car rental lots are often inconveniently located in the outer
reaches of the airport loop road organism; if you take a wrong turn out of the
lot, you may find yourself back at the baggage claim before you know it. Most
car rental agencies will give you a map of the area that pinpoints the location
of the rental lot. Before you do anything else, take out and consult this map,
and formulate your intended route out of the car rental void and into the world.
Do this yourself - as the driver, you need to know the lay of the land. Next,
hand the map to a copilot if you have one, who can conceive any enhancements
to the plan.
This way, when you're fixing your mirrors, adjusting the radio, fishing for
window controls, hitting the wrong directionals, trying to find the windshield
wiper lever, driving at night without lights, driving with your high beams on,
opening the trunk instead of the fuel latch when buying gas, and driving with
the emergency brake on, at least you'll know where you're going.
00:04:15
Fix your mirrors. A quick adjust to the rear view won't do it; you gotta deal
with the side mirrors. If you’re traveling with someone, they can help. This
will save you some heartbeats when you first have to merge into heavy traffic.
This way, when adjusting the radio, fishing for window controls, hitting the
wrong directionals, trying to find the windshield wiper lever, driving at night
without lights, driving with your high beams on, opening the trunk instead of
the fuel latch when buying gas, and driving with the emergency brake on, at
least you'll be able to see.
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